The Power of Conversation

Have you ever had one of those conversations where someone says something and you had never thought of things that way before? And then afterward that thought sits in the back of your mind and simmers on low until a light bulb goes on? I have that happen to me all the time.

I have been encouraged, challenged, convicted and comforted through the words of others. I have also been discouraged, placated, po-pooed and hurt by the same means.

So what makes the difference? Is it the state of my own heart? Is it the motives of others? Is it that my mind is in one place and not "present"? I think I would have to answer "yes." All of the above have been true for me. The point is that conversation is powerful. It has the potential do very good things be constructive(not always easy and sweetness and light) or to do bad things and be destructive. So what does make the difference?

In the book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," Stephen Covey says that 2 keys to constructive communication are to "Think Win/Win" and to "Seek first to understand and then to be understood." The purpose of a conversation is not just to get your point across, instead it is to enter into a dynamic, living, breathing relationship with someone where you and others open yourselves up to ideas and concepts and emotions; things that have the potential to change you.

Thinking win/win is much like the Bible says in Phil 2:3-4 "3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." It needs to be my motive in conversation to really hear what a person is saying, where they are coming from, and to enter into their world. My prayer is that they do that for me as well.

Seeking first to understand and then to be understood is to follow James 1:19 "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,"

Let's make every effort to engage in our conversations in this way, anticipating God's presence. Let's trust Him to change us through opening ourselves up to the power of conversation.

Learning to Live Loved,

Deon