Ya Gotta Love Conflict!

"Small groups that don't get to the point of anger, don't get to the point of usefulness."

--Steve Brown.

Do you think that's true? What does going through conflicts with those around us accomplish? Is it just looking for trouble? Is it creating a problem that wasn't there before?

I have heard of lot of reasons for avoiding conflict, some of them valid. There are times when we need to let go of our pride and overlook an offense. "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." --Proverbs 19:11. It takes a good dose of emotional and spiritual maturity to be offended and then be able to overlook it without it coming out in others ways; our attitude around that person, sarcastic comments, talking with others about the issue, anger in our heart, etc.

So how can I know when to engage in conflict and when to overlook something? Here are a few questions to consider:

• When I am around that (those) person (people) do I feel the freedom to engage with them in a respectful way or am I worried about protecting myself or does my anger seems to rise up?
• Do I feel a need to talk about this with other people in order to feel OK or validated?
• What is my attitude toward that person, do I harbor anger in my heart?

To always avoid conflict is not a good thing. Engaging in conflict can be a very important activity if we want to grow emotionally or spiritually. I believe God works through conflict (and gives us opportunities for conflict,) in order to bring about his purposes in our lives.

What's your favorite story? What is the conflict in that story (all interesting stories have conflict)? How does dealing with the conflict effect the characters? Stories of heroism (and cowardice) come in the midst of conflict.

Are you engaging in necessary conflict? If not, what's stopping you? Do you trust that if you go into conflict with love and respect that God will work out His will in the situation? If you are engaging in necessary conflict, are you doing it with love and respect?

Learning to Live Loved,

Deon