Bold love is much different than most of us think. We often think of love as being nice and sweet and keeping everything peaceful. I think that is the definition of fear, not love. We often picture Jesus as really timid, nice, sweet, passive and peaceful. Many of us have grown up with pictures and movies of his long, solemn, peaceful face and we can just hear his soft voice. The problem with this picture is that people like this are not generally seen as such a threat that others want to kill him.
Jesus was very disruptive. He disrupted life for people of all different walks of life. He disrupted the lives of prostitutes like Mary Magdalene and tax collectors like Matthew and Zacchaeus, fishermen like Peter, James and John, religious leaders and rulers like Herod and Pilate. None of their lives were the same after encountering Jesus. His love was disruptive.
Love makes a difference. It makes an impact. Love takes the courage to risk.
If you had a greater courage in your relationships and you really wanted to love others in a meaningful way, what would change? What would be different? Not sure? I recommend reading the book Bold Love by Dan Allender and Tremper Longman III. It takes a good look at loving boldly, even what it means to love those who aren't very lovely.
Learning to Live Loved,
Deon
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
"...Love One Another Deeply, From the Heart"
This is from 1 Peter 1:22. It's hard to love. In many ways it goes against our nature. Our sinful nature says "look out for #1, 'cause noone else is going to." But what is healthy self-protection, what are healthy boundaries? How do we love from the heart?
Loving well is not something that just happens. I've counseled with hundreds, if not thousands, of people in the last 15 years and have not witnessed anyone "love well" by accident. It takes understanding and action. Things that are hard for us to do.
So what does it take? One of the first things it takes is courage. Why courage? Because we are afraid. "What if I say the wrong thing?" "I don't want to talk to them about how they hurt me, I don't want to make waves." "I'm not good at things like that." We have hurt, anger, fear, disappointment, insecurity, helplessness and shame. It takes courage to approach people in an authentic way when we are going through these emotions. What makes it even worse is when you've been hurt or mistreated in the past. It's making yourself vulnerable, taking a risk, wanting better relationships but knowing that sometimes things blow up in your face.
God directs us to handle situations in a straightforward way with the desire to love (Matt. 18:15-18. However, when you follow God's directions in doing things well it doesn't always turn out the way you want. Will you have the courage to trust him anyway by following him? Do we really believe that he will work all those things out for my good? Let's try it and find out.
More on healthy relationships later.
Learning to Live Loved,
Deon
Loving well is not something that just happens. I've counseled with hundreds, if not thousands, of people in the last 15 years and have not witnessed anyone "love well" by accident. It takes understanding and action. Things that are hard for us to do.
So what does it take? One of the first things it takes is courage. Why courage? Because we are afraid. "What if I say the wrong thing?" "I don't want to talk to them about how they hurt me, I don't want to make waves." "I'm not good at things like that." We have hurt, anger, fear, disappointment, insecurity, helplessness and shame. It takes courage to approach people in an authentic way when we are going through these emotions. What makes it even worse is when you've been hurt or mistreated in the past. It's making yourself vulnerable, taking a risk, wanting better relationships but knowing that sometimes things blow up in your face.
God directs us to handle situations in a straightforward way with the desire to love (Matt. 18:15-18. However, when you follow God's directions in doing things well it doesn't always turn out the way you want. Will you have the courage to trust him anyway by following him? Do we really believe that he will work all those things out for my good? Let's try it and find out.
More on healthy relationships later.
Learning to Live Loved,
Deon
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